I think this is the very first time that I stuck my neck out and made a mistake but didn't hate myself for it. This is good.

This is really, really good.

You are not okay. You are really, really, not okay.
Everything you do is maladaptive. Everything you think is maladaptive.
You are not okay in any way.
The fact that you are so maladaptive makes you completely and totally incredible.
You can't be okay. There's no way at this moment in time you can be okay.

Remember that you are not okay. Remember this moment when you are truly not okay.
Remember that you have been rubbed raw and are left with open wounds, waiting to be scab over or get infected and get more maladaptive. Remember this moment and remember that even though you are not okay right now and you will probably not be okay later or tomorrow, there will be some day that you are okay.
It is a long and grueling road and I know it is so goddamn hard. Maybe it doesn't look hard, maybe it's not supposed to be hard maybe you have no "right" to have this difficulty with doing things. That does not change the fact that it is hard.
Maybe it's not what you think, maybe what everyone is saying is more on the mark. Maybe you don't have what you wish you did and you can't explain why.

Just please, please remember this moment and remember that you are hurt and vulnerable and prone to infection. You need to start with fresh cells, rebuild your skin one replication at a time (this metaphor doesn't really work). But either way. It will take time; remember that you feel this and trust in yourself. Not in the gimmicky "believe in yourself and you'll be able to do it" but in a way where you believe in what you've felt and what you've seen.

You have felt this pain and this difficulty and if no one else supports you in your "delusions" then you will have to. So do so. And just remember you have reason to.

So what is this? You start crying and sobbing and talking incoherently for what? Something you can't even seem to back up? You can't even talk about it, you have no idea what's going on and you're trying to say that I don't trust you? Look at yourself. You're using tactics like breaking down into tears and you're steadily taking larger and larger breaths. Are you trying to elicit sympathy? Is this where you try to hyperventilate on purpose to prove your point? 'cause it's not working. The only thing you're making clear is that you're not capable of taking care of yourself because you don't have any clue what's going on with yourself, let alone here in this situation and all you can think to do to solve that issue is through gimmicky reactions like questioning my trust in you. How can I possibly trust you when you can't even handle talking about something you brought up yourself? You're incapable.

So just shut up, suck it up and deal with this so-called difficulty of yours because like you said. Tons of people deal with it without ever getting diagnosed. Why would you need help then?