No. No, mother, you're right. I shouldn't have come back. You never had any of these problems when it was just you.

Yes.
I'm so sorry I had the lack of foresight to come home.

And no, mother, you're right. I don't do anything other than eat and sleep. The dishes that were covered in black ash after the fire washed themselves. The counter miraculously became clean on its own. All the plastic coffee cups you hoard that fell over into the candle (which I knocked over) have nothing to do with anything. The fact that the counter was already cluttered with useless crap did in no way contribute to the fire. It was all me and my carelessness.

And if the carpet and floor where the sink is is wet after all the washing I did to clean up after my terrible irreparable fire, then it's as if I did nothing at all. I might as well have let the fire burn down everything. At least the floor wouldn't have been wet.