Monday, October 17, 2011

I'm not sure how it works

And I don't know how to explain this to you. You, all of you, any of you, none of you.

I honestly don't know.

I mean, acting indifferent is cool, right? So when I shrug and mutter something about not giving shit, what am I doing? I've done it so often, it's become true.

But it just feels like I'm shutting people out. I don't know how to care about something without feeling pathetic and desperate. I don't know how to show someone I care about something or someone without feeling hopeless and insecure.

I really, really, don't know. Believe me.

But maybe tomorrow, I won't think this anymore. Maybe all this insecurity that's only a part of me will become me entirely tomorrow, to an extent where I can't even post this on my blog like an angsty, impulsive teenager. (See I can't even blog without putting myself down.)

So there.

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